the examinations.

today.
it begins.
a week of hell.
hope evrythin goes smoothly.
insya Allah.
pray to God.
i try my best,
the rest is up to Him.

mentally disturbed.

honestly speaking,
ak x berada dlm keadaan yg baek in dis couple of weeks.
smpykn ad satu ari yg ak duk diam jep dlm klas to the point where my english teacher was puzzled at my silence dat day.
felt lyke my head is being spun round and round and round
jumbled up everythin inside it
like a big boggle dat i used to play at skool back in the days
it's odd.
VERY odd.
how can u feel happy and at the same time, feel a huge amount of guilt being put upon ur shoulders?
could there be a situation where one understands too much that it makes him/her unable to produce the same understanding for other things afterwards?

i often shudder deep down inside from the sight
of
my awkwardness
my averageness
my weakness
my gullibility
and
my ignorance.

so far...

been ere for about almost half a year.

seems like a short stint but lots hav happened.

saw engraved smiles on the happy faces,

saw some shed tears,

even the occasional shouting and hysterical laughters.

made frens,

foes.

it was a lot different to what i've had expected before.

what matters most was the IB stuffs eventho we tend to whine bout em

EVRY SINGLE DAY.

here,

friends mean a lot more than just ones that we spend time the most wif.

lab reports,

group presentation,

IOP,

math exercise,

and absolutely assignments.

.

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*in a state of mental disorder*

life?

from sumthing i've seen recently,
the complexity of my mind seemed too interpret life as another toy store that we used to visit during our childhood days.
once we entered the store, we would see other kids with toys that we've never had before and we would see their faces engraved with smiles that we would interpret as the fulfilment of joy and happiness.

having to have seen that, we would like to want to have the same thing as the other kids do eventhough we know that it would mislead us from other priorities like school.but still, we would strive and thrive to get the desired toy by any means necessary.

emotion is feeling?

aku...penat.